This blog is so fantastic. I'm constantly being inspired by her. Here is another good one
The Simplicity of Parenting
Sometimes I wonder why we make parenting so hard on ourselves. Seriously! Do the indigenous tribes of the world sit around and read a million books on breastfeeding, and then co-sleeping and then how to parent and how to be gentle and educational methods and how to raise productive citizens? No, of course not. They have each other, they have traditional ways of doing things, they have elders who help, they have huge close communities.
Our problem is that we have lost our way in our society and we are re-creating the parenting wheel ourselves, bit by bit, in our own homes. The wonderful book “The Spiritual Tasks of the Homemaker” by Manfred Schmidt-Brabant is precisely about this subject. We have lost so much of the intrinsic, the from the heart parenting, that sometimes we wonder if we will ever see it again. And in the meantime, our children look to us to lead and to guide and to love and to cherish them.
Here are some rules of simplicity in parenting that really struck me tonight:
Love your child. Hold your child, tell them you love them, breastfeed them, sleep with them, be close to them. Look at the world from their eyes, but do not assume they feel about things as you do or understand the things you understand – they are not a miniature extension of you, they have not had your experience, they have a different consciousness! Respect them, and also respect them enough to know when they need you and your gentle help to guide them.
Enjoy life and be confident in your life! Enjoy your children. Don’t you think they know when in your heart you feel irritable, trapped, resentful, wondering where your life is? If you cannot enjoy this life that you were given, please, please, help yourself out. Discuss your feelings with your spouse and with your extended family, find a friend to talk to, find a mother’s helper for a few hours each day, talk to a counselor, go see a doctor to rule out any physical causes of depression, create a community for yourself. Your children deserve a whole human being, a whole beautiful and wonderful and wise woman to take care of them!
Re-frame your own attitude. Parenting should not be the end of your life; parenting is just the beginning! Find things for you that you need to do to be that whole person, work with your spouse or a friend to make it happen, but also realize this is BIGGER than just you; this is not all about you; it is about these wonderful spiritual beings that decided to come and be with you and be a part of your family! Family is a bigger and more beautiful thing than you alone!
Know that you set the tone in your home. Men do things differently than women, they parent differently; so why nag? Where and what does nagging get you? Model and set the tone. Healthy eating, healthy sleeping, healthy communication, rest, peacefulness, fun together, joy, being outside: the keys to a healthy life no matter what your age!
Find the positive. Find the positive intent. Instead of assuming the worst of your children, your spouse, the friends you thought you had, assume something positive. Assume the people who love you want to help you, that they do support you and understand you. Cut those people some slack; we are not perfect beings in this perfect world! Maintain some of a feeling of joy and innocence regarding your world, it is possible! Look at the possible needs behind your child’s behavior and don’t discuss it with them, for heaven’s sake, but use it to help guide your child! Uplift your child, move and dance with them and love them to where they are supposed to be in life and who they are unfolding to be!
Love your children, love yourself and love each other. Simplicity in parenting!
Saturday, June 27, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
We're insane
Things were just getting a little too calm around here. I mean I'm basically sitting around all day eating bon-bons and watching movies. We thought it would be a good idea to shake things up. You know, give me something to do all day (and night).
Oh, but how could I resist?
This is Molly. She's 9 weeks old. Yellow Lab.
Everybody around here is high on puppy love right now.
Oh and fyi, if I believed in reincarnation I swear that this kid was a dog in her past life. I've never seen anyone so excited about a dog crate before.
Friday, June 19, 2009
7 Secrets to Raising a Happy Child
I just found this article at ZenHabits.
Link
7 Secrets to Raising a Happy Child
Nature and nurture are in a never ending battle to claim the disposition of our children. While it’s true that the apple rarely tumbles too far from the tree, it is also true that there are a multitude of things we as parents can do to safeguard the childhoods of our children, limit their exposure to the more damaging elements the world will see fit to introduce in time, and do our best to raise a healthy and happy child.
We might not be able to help the variety of our branches, but we are the ones who control the nutrients in their soil and the sunlight in their sky.
In addition to the obvious things such as making sure your child is consuming the right nutrients, staying hydrated, and getting the quantity of sleep and exercise a growing body needs, here are 7 secrets that can help you raise a happy child.
1. Let your child know you are excited to see them when they enter the room. Let them see the light dance inside your eyes when their gaze drifts into yours. Be mindful of their presence by showing them your smile and greeting them warmly. Say their name out loud. Not only do children love to hear the sound of their name, they also long to feel validation from their loved ones. Think about it from an adult perspective - wouldn’t you love it if the face of the person you loved most lit like a holiday parade every time you entered the room? Your child loves you the most, imagine the returns after a childhood filled with such affection.
2. Teach your child it’s okay to be bored. As parents, it’s often our instinct to entertain our children each and every waking hour. When we don’t possess the time or energy, it is all too easy to allow the glowing blue babysitter in the living room to do the heavy lifting. But when we rely on television, or any other form of autopilot attention, we succeed only in limiting our child’s development. Children have vivid imaginations that flourish upon nurturing. But without the opportunity to coax their creativity, it will only whither on the vine. Allow your child idle minutes to develop their creativity with hands-on activities to stimulate their thought. A few sheets of paper and a box of crayons can keep a well rounded child busy for far longer than an episode of Dora.
3. Limit your child’s media. Related, but not limited to number two. Limiting your child’s exposure to media isn’t only a positive move for promoting their creativity, it is an excellent method to broaden their attention span while grooming their ability to stay calm. Your child will have plenty of exposure to more than you want soon enough. During those precious years when you are the designer of their decisions, you must make sure they are learning to live a life independent from the over-exposure that is often too easy to rely on. Yes it is difficult, but we owe it to the next generation to search for the right road rather than the easy one.
4. Let your child know they are more important than work by giving them eye contact and attention. Your child doesn’t just need you around, they need you present. Play with your child, interact with them, find out what is important to them by asking questions and listening to their answers. Your child deserves at least a little bit of you each and every day, at least a few minutes where you are not considering your email or allowing your thoughts to wander over what’s been left sitting on your desk. Letting your child know they are important is like giving them an insulin shot of happy.
5. Let your child make a few of the rules. You don’t have to make them the boss to let them feel empowered. Often, power struggles with our children are the direct result of them feeling a loss of control. You can easily curb these instances by allowing your child to feel like they are part of making up some of the protocol. By at least appearing to give your child some of the control, you are helping them understand household law inside and out. This will lead directly to a willingness to follow.
6. Teach your child - don’t assume it’s all happening outside the house. Home schooling is every parent’s job. Whether your child attends public or private school, or receives all their schooling at home, it is essential to the world’s best future that parents are the ones to fill in the blanks. There are plenty of skills not taught in school that play a massive role in determining who your children will grow up to be. Children are not raised in tupperware, and when they finally leave us to enter the world far away from our watchful eyes, they must have the sharpened tools that will help them be the best that they can be.
7. Model appropriate behavior. In my opinion, this is the most important item on the list. Children do as they see, not as they’re told. If you want your child to be mindful of others, you must be mindful of others yourself. If you want your child to by happy, you must smile without hesitation. There is no one more influential to your child than you. At least for now.
Raising a happy child is hard work, but it is something that can and must be done. Once you focus on the needs of your child and ensure you are doing all you can to meet them, your efforts will be rewarded. You will have a healthy and happy child, fortunate to have been raised in a family where childhood wasn’t permitted to simply fade away.
Link
7 Secrets to Raising a Happy Child
Nature and nurture are in a never ending battle to claim the disposition of our children. While it’s true that the apple rarely tumbles too far from the tree, it is also true that there are a multitude of things we as parents can do to safeguard the childhoods of our children, limit their exposure to the more damaging elements the world will see fit to introduce in time, and do our best to raise a healthy and happy child.
We might not be able to help the variety of our branches, but we are the ones who control the nutrients in their soil and the sunlight in their sky.
In addition to the obvious things such as making sure your child is consuming the right nutrients, staying hydrated, and getting the quantity of sleep and exercise a growing body needs, here are 7 secrets that can help you raise a happy child.
1. Let your child know you are excited to see them when they enter the room. Let them see the light dance inside your eyes when their gaze drifts into yours. Be mindful of their presence by showing them your smile and greeting them warmly. Say their name out loud. Not only do children love to hear the sound of their name, they also long to feel validation from their loved ones. Think about it from an adult perspective - wouldn’t you love it if the face of the person you loved most lit like a holiday parade every time you entered the room? Your child loves you the most, imagine the returns after a childhood filled with such affection.
2. Teach your child it’s okay to be bored. As parents, it’s often our instinct to entertain our children each and every waking hour. When we don’t possess the time or energy, it is all too easy to allow the glowing blue babysitter in the living room to do the heavy lifting. But when we rely on television, or any other form of autopilot attention, we succeed only in limiting our child’s development. Children have vivid imaginations that flourish upon nurturing. But without the opportunity to coax their creativity, it will only whither on the vine. Allow your child idle minutes to develop their creativity with hands-on activities to stimulate their thought. A few sheets of paper and a box of crayons can keep a well rounded child busy for far longer than an episode of Dora.
3. Limit your child’s media. Related, but not limited to number two. Limiting your child’s exposure to media isn’t only a positive move for promoting their creativity, it is an excellent method to broaden their attention span while grooming their ability to stay calm. Your child will have plenty of exposure to more than you want soon enough. During those precious years when you are the designer of their decisions, you must make sure they are learning to live a life independent from the over-exposure that is often too easy to rely on. Yes it is difficult, but we owe it to the next generation to search for the right road rather than the easy one.
4. Let your child know they are more important than work by giving them eye contact and attention. Your child doesn’t just need you around, they need you present. Play with your child, interact with them, find out what is important to them by asking questions and listening to their answers. Your child deserves at least a little bit of you each and every day, at least a few minutes where you are not considering your email or allowing your thoughts to wander over what’s been left sitting on your desk. Letting your child know they are important is like giving them an insulin shot of happy.
5. Let your child make a few of the rules. You don’t have to make them the boss to let them feel empowered. Often, power struggles with our children are the direct result of them feeling a loss of control. You can easily curb these instances by allowing your child to feel like they are part of making up some of the protocol. By at least appearing to give your child some of the control, you are helping them understand household law inside and out. This will lead directly to a willingness to follow.
6. Teach your child - don’t assume it’s all happening outside the house. Home schooling is every parent’s job. Whether your child attends public or private school, or receives all their schooling at home, it is essential to the world’s best future that parents are the ones to fill in the blanks. There are plenty of skills not taught in school that play a massive role in determining who your children will grow up to be. Children are not raised in tupperware, and when they finally leave us to enter the world far away from our watchful eyes, they must have the sharpened tools that will help them be the best that they can be.
7. Model appropriate behavior. In my opinion, this is the most important item on the list. Children do as they see, not as they’re told. If you want your child to be mindful of others, you must be mindful of others yourself. If you want your child to by happy, you must smile without hesitation. There is no one more influential to your child than you. At least for now.
Raising a happy child is hard work, but it is something that can and must be done. Once you focus on the needs of your child and ensure you are doing all you can to meet them, your efforts will be rewarded. You will have a healthy and happy child, fortunate to have been raised in a family where childhood wasn’t permitted to simply fade away.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Such a different kid
Today when we got to Chipotle we were a little bit early and were waiting outside for it to open. Seth and Ella were so excited for their rice and beans, as usual, and were running in circles shrieking at the top of their lungs with joy. Trust me, I would join in too, if it were only socially acceptable. Anyways, so there is this woman who had just come from a workout and was stretching on the sidewalk while she was waiting. She had her hands up against the wall and was doing a front lunge. Seth walks over and stands right next to her, like maybe a foot away. He puts his hands up on the wall and starts lunging along with her. Everybody was laughing so hard. I just couldn't believe I was watching Seth do that. Seth, the kid who screamed and dug his face into my shirt anytime we went anywhere in public. Seth, the kid who never once pointed, spoke or imitated anything anyone did for about 2.5 years. Seth, the kid who basically didn't ever want to be around anyone but mom, dad and grandma. Oh, my Sethy.
Chipotle and Polyface
Here is an news clip about Chipotle. Chipotle is one of the few foods that Seth will eat, so we are there 2-3 times a week. They get some of their pork from Polyface Farms. Polyface is where we pick up all of our meat and eggs every 6 weeks. Speaking of Polyface pigs....you haven't lived until you have Polyface bacon. Seriously, you need to come over to our house and have breakfast one day. It's unbelievable!
Off to Chipotle.... :)
Link
Off to Chipotle.... :)
Link
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Inspiration
There are a lot of things inspiring me lately.
This interview with Dr. Frank Lipman about fatigue...physical, mental and emotional exhaustion. He talks about the rhythms of the body and how important they are. Very inspiring! Link
Another Inconvenient Truth. If it has to do with healthy food, you know I'm loving it.
This parenting advice.
"The single most important thing is to take time to LISTEN to your children – as fellow human beings, not just as your charges or pet projects. There’s a wise little human soul in there, ageless in heart even while young in time. Follow her lead. Listen to what she says and DOESN’T say. Don’t just manage her, but allow the things she’s interested in to open and energize your own heart. That’s the secret of eternal youth.
Second, don’t be afraid to be real with your children. I’m not speaking so much here about being honest with your feelings (that’s generally good, but don’t forget that as a parent you have a primary responsibility to hold a safe space for your kids, and your self-expression should never overwhelm or frighten them); rather, I’m talking about being transparent about what you truly love. For eighteen years my own mother managed, scolded, imposed manners, dragged us kids off to Sunday school, arranged lessons in necessary social graces, chaperoned parties and supervised homework. And yet, for all that gray blur of duty, the one day I truly remember from my childhood was the day she simply gathered up her beloved oil paints and marched us off to a local arboretum. As my brother and I explored the gardens, I watched her a short distance away, poised before her easel, golden sunlight streaming down her face, completely entranced in what she was doing. How I loved her in that moment! And the unspoken lesson on following your bliss has remained with me for nearly six decades."
All of these blog posts over at The Parenting Passageway:
Summer Planning: Waldorf and the Early Years
Common Toddler Challenges and How to Solve Them
Tripping Into the Toddler Years --Seriously, this one is so good!
Mindful Parenting
The Mini-Rant: What Are We Doing? Yeah, read this one too!
This interview with Dr. Frank Lipman about fatigue...physical, mental and emotional exhaustion. He talks about the rhythms of the body and how important they are. Very inspiring! Link
Another Inconvenient Truth. If it has to do with healthy food, you know I'm loving it.
This parenting advice.
"The single most important thing is to take time to LISTEN to your children – as fellow human beings, not just as your charges or pet projects. There’s a wise little human soul in there, ageless in heart even while young in time. Follow her lead. Listen to what she says and DOESN’T say. Don’t just manage her, but allow the things she’s interested in to open and energize your own heart. That’s the secret of eternal youth.
Second, don’t be afraid to be real with your children. I’m not speaking so much here about being honest with your feelings (that’s generally good, but don’t forget that as a parent you have a primary responsibility to hold a safe space for your kids, and your self-expression should never overwhelm or frighten them); rather, I’m talking about being transparent about what you truly love. For eighteen years my own mother managed, scolded, imposed manners, dragged us kids off to Sunday school, arranged lessons in necessary social graces, chaperoned parties and supervised homework. And yet, for all that gray blur of duty, the one day I truly remember from my childhood was the day she simply gathered up her beloved oil paints and marched us off to a local arboretum. As my brother and I explored the gardens, I watched her a short distance away, poised before her easel, golden sunlight streaming down her face, completely entranced in what she was doing. How I loved her in that moment! And the unspoken lesson on following your bliss has remained with me for nearly six decades."
All of these blog posts over at The Parenting Passageway:
Summer Planning: Waldorf and the Early Years
Common Toddler Challenges and How to Solve Them
Tripping Into the Toddler Years --Seriously, this one is so good!
Mindful Parenting
The Mini-Rant: What Are We Doing? Yeah, read this one too!
Raw Goat Milk Vanilla Ice Cream
My freezer is FULL of gallons of raw goat milk. I just came across this recipe for homemade goat milk ice cream. Now I can make Seth some homemade ice cream. Yay!!
Raw Goat Milk Ice Cream
This recipe makes 2 quarts, or so.
5-1/2 cups raw goat milk (the creamier the better, be sure to catch the cream floating at the top)
6 egg yolks from pastured, naturally raised chickens – important!
30 dates, pitted (or about 3/4 cup of moist date pieces)
3 tablespoons vanilla
2 tablespoons arrowroot powder
1 avocado, peeled and sliced
Blend all ingredients until smooth in blender or Vitamix wet container. Chill thoroughly. Freeze according to your ice cream maker’s instructions.
Serve immediately or put in the freezer to harden for about an hour. If you freeze much longer, it gets very hard. That’s not so bad because hard ice cream = milkshakes!
Link
Raw Goat Milk Ice Cream
This recipe makes 2 quarts, or so.
5-1/2 cups raw goat milk (the creamier the better, be sure to catch the cream floating at the top)
6 egg yolks from pastured, naturally raised chickens – important!
30 dates, pitted (or about 3/4 cup of moist date pieces)
3 tablespoons vanilla
2 tablespoons arrowroot powder
1 avocado, peeled and sliced
Blend all ingredients until smooth in blender or Vitamix wet container. Chill thoroughly. Freeze according to your ice cream maker’s instructions.
Serve immediately or put in the freezer to harden for about an hour. If you freeze much longer, it gets very hard. That’s not so bad because hard ice cream = milkshakes!
Link
Fruit as dessert
Kimmi over at The Nourishing Gourmet just posted about the history of fruit. How it's always been used a pleasure/dessert food. Seth's food allergies make it hard to just open up anything for dessert. It takes planning and usually a very simple recipe. Just last night our Family Home Evening treat was fresh strawberries, bananas and mandarin oranges all cut up and soaked in a little bit of apple and orange juice. It was so simple and so yummy.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Perfect Flavor is Perfection
Anyone who knows me well, knows that I have a deep passionate love for ice cream. As far as I'm concerned, it is a whole separate food group. After becoming a real/local foodie I haven't been able to eat, or at least enjoy eating, my ice cream. Grocery store ice cream is full of so much disgusting junk that my throat starts gagging just thinking about it.
For example: Turkey Hill Party Cake Ice Cream
MILK, CREAM, SUGAR, BUTTERCREAM (SUGAR, PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED SOY AND COTTONSEED OILS, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, WATER, CORN SYRUP, MONO & DIGLYCERIDES, POLYSORBATE 60, SALT, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS, CELLULOSE GUM, SOY LECITHIN, PHOSPHORIC ACID, BLUE 1), CAKE PIECES [WHEAT FLOUR, SUGAR, PARTIALLY HYDROGENATED SOYBEAN AND COTTONSEED OILS, EGGS, WATER, ANGEL CREAM (CALCIUM SULFATE, MONOCALCIUM PHOSPHATE, ADIPIC ACID, CORN STARCH), SALT, NATURAL & ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS, RED 3, YELLOW 5, BLUE 1, MODIFIED CORN STARCH, VEGETABLE GUM, BUTTER FLAVOR, SODIUM BICARBONATE], CORN SYRUP, WHEY, NONFAT MILK, MONO & DIGLYCERIDES, ARTIFICIAL & NATURAL FLAVORS, GUAR GUM, CARRAGEENAN.
Really? You call that ice cream? This is what we're putting into our bodies? That sounds like a science experiment to me. Most of the ice cream in a mainstream grocery store isn't even called ice cream, it's called "frozen dessert". It's so processed and fake that they can't even call it ice cream.
So, what's a ice cream fanatic/real foodist to do? Perfect Flavor, that's what! My friend from high school, Lynsie, makes homemade ice cream from organic & local ingredients.
From her website:
"We make ice cream by hand, the old way, one order at a time, with attention and care, using ingredients and methods that are tailored to support local, sustainable agriculture, organic farming, and other wholesome and environmentally responsible practices.
We believe in that old adage "Doing well by doing good." We believe that real food, made the old way, with time and care, not only tastes better, but that it's better for our planet, and better for our bodies. Our company is dedicated to making the best ice cream you've ever tasted, and doing it in a sustainable, responsible way."
My freezer is full of ice cream with milk from Holsinger Farm in Waynesboro and egg yolks from Polyface Farm in Swoope. And the good news for you? She ships anywhere! Just go on her site, make up your ice cream, and she'll ship it to you!
A couple organic, in season, local ingredients and a little love truly makes the perfect flavor.
Look at my little stinker getting so excited over the new Strawberries & Cream ice cream. Yeah, she's my daughter alright.
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